"Democrats Are Trying to Make Hay of Prewar Memos."
That was the headline on a Knight-Ridder story published in the Albuquerque Journal June 19.
"Party’s Leaders Are Staying Mum" was the sub-head.
Huh?! Contradiction?
I thought for a moment and guessed that the headline writer was distinguishing between rank-and-file Democrats and their leaders.
That turned out to be true. And it turned out that this was a tough story to headline. Reporter Dick Polman’s opening graph, a stage-setter, did not include the lead to the story. Paragraph 2 told us "grassroots liberals" are pointing to the Downing Street memos. In the next graph, Polman tells us that about a dozen House Democrats held a hearing on the documents and then, in the fourth paragraph, we learn that "most Democratic leaders have remained mum" on the memos.
The headline writer might have done better with "Grassroots Democrats Make Hay… etc." and then, "But Leaders Stay Mum."
That’s second-guessing, though, and since there’s lots I don’t know including how much time the editor had, it may not be fair.
Another imperfect Journal headline introduced Michael Kinsley’s column Saturday, June 18. "Money Erodes Away at Democracy," it read.
"Erodes Away"?
Now I would understand "Money Eats Away at Democracy." Or, "Money Erodes Democracy," though that might be too short. But "erodes away" is ugly. And with money as the subject of the sentence, the verb possibilities are many, including "subverts," "weakens" and "dominates."
The headline in question doesn’t mislead, but it sure reads as if written by an ESL student.